I do not know whether this happens only to me or to other men in this world. May be as my wife says, “you are a strange creature”, this might happen only to me. Whenever I talk a very serious thing (“only for you it is serious and important, not for me”) she would focus her attention on trivial issues (“what is trivial to you is vital for the family”)
The other day, after the morning shower, I was trying to share serious information, with my wife, pertaining to a business decision which if went wrong would have an adverse effect. She was listening but her eyes were wandering. I stopped and asked if anything was wrong. She asked “Where is the flower vase that was kept on the table? I don’t know who meddles with all these things in this house (she obviously meant me)”. Irked by her behavior I yelled at her. “When I am saying something important, why on the earth do you want to take up such a trivial matter?” This fuelled her anger and she retarded “who said it is a trivial one. I only know the time and effort I put in during the Hong Kong trip to buy the flower vase. If at all you have anything important to say in connection with work, the best place is office and not the dressing room”. I knew it would be difficult to stop her anymore, as the discussion had completely shifted to a different plane, and I was a hapless creature.
Later in the day, at my office, while I was sipping coffee and glancing through the window watching the slow moving vehicles on the crowded Casa Major Road and on the flyover, suddenly something struck again in connection with the tussle I had in the morning. Why is it that my wife looks at things in a way so different from how I do? Though both of us have same routine and commonality in our lives, yet there was something fundamentally different in the way we see the world. Suddenly I remembered a book which I had read, several years back, may be immediately after my marriage, “Men are from Mars Women are from Venus by John Gray”. I asked my secretary to get a copy of that book.
In the evening, while leaving the office, my secretary promptly gave me the book. Luckily I did not have any program for the evening and started reading it at one go.
An amazing book that unravels the mysteries of the complex relationship between man and woman. Wondered why on the earth I haven’t re-read it.
Popular marriage counselor and seminar leader John Gray provides a unique, practical and proven way for men and women to communicate and relate better by acknowledging the differences between them.
Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets.
Using this metaphor to illustrate the commonly occurring conflicts between men and women, Gray explains how these differences can come between the sexes and prohibit mutually fulfilling loving relationships. Based on years of successful counseling of couples, he gives advice on how to counteract these differences in communication styles, emotional needs and modes of behavior to promote a greater understanding between individual partners. Gray shows how men and women react differently in conversation and how their relationships are affected by male intimacy cycles (“get close”, “back off”), and female self-esteem fluctuations (“I’m okay”, “I’m not okay”). He encourages readers to accept the other gender’s particular way of expressing love, and helps men and women learn how to fulfill each other’s emotional needs.
With practical suggestions on how to reduce conflict, crucial information on how to interpret a partner’s behavior and methods for preventing emotional “trash from the past” from invading new relationships, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a valuable tool for couples who want to develop deeper and more satisfying relationships with their partners.
Book summary – courtesy